This is Clubs For People Who Dont Like Club

Each year tourists flock to all corners of Europe to get loaded and have a weird time, whether it’s in an Ibiza superclub, a Berlin technohaus or on a party boat in Belgrade. Of course, it’s all fine and well when you’re travelling with someone who loves dance music as much as you do, and who only needs a box room, a DJ and a Void sound system to achieve disco enlightenment.

But if your companion is not a techno fiend and needs more from a club than untarnished BPMs, here are some of the best nights out on the continent.

Regression Sessions (UK)

Strictly speaking, it’s a night rather than a club, but let’s not concern ourselves with trivialities. Regression Sessions have been putting on events all over the UK for the last five years and are famous for their ball pits, bouncy castles and expansive production. The vibe is very much adults indulging their childish sides, so if you’re not feeling the drum and bass, house and techno spun by Fabric residents, there’s always something else to do. That might just mean face painting.

Regression Sessions: say balls to BPM bores
Regression Sessions

Fluxus Ministerija (Kaunas, Lithuania)

Housed in an abandoned shoe factory, the Ministry of Fluxus is an accessible art project that happens to throw twanging raves. You’ll find a different vibe in every cavernous room, and the swirling visuals and chin-strokey art installations will make more sense when you’re two pingers down. The lengths of their parties are legendary – come on Saturday, leave Sunday afternoon. Spend the next two days in your hotel room squinting through the curtains and watching Lithuanian dubbed reruns of Diagnosis Murder.

Elrow (Barcelona/Ibiza/Madrid)

Elrow states that its primary function is to “entertain and amuse” and it does so through a magical alchemy of the finest tech house and techno in the style of a throbbing technicolour carnival. Their spiritual home is Viladecans in Barcelona, but they’ve had a recent residency at Space in Ibiza, as well as shows in Madrid, Zaragoza and the UK. Expect elaborately costumed actors, confetti drops and endless blow-up toys to joust with.

House parties are great, right? You don’t have to pay to enter and there are no bouncers. You don’t have to secrete your drugs anywhere near your genitals, and no-one’s going to chuck you out for getting frisky in the toilets. Renate doesn’t fly in the face of all these conventions, but the vibe inside this old apartment block is more unhinged house party than urban nightclub. Lose a night and day exploring the labyrinth of rooms, nooks and baroque-decorated bars. There’s a latex covered bed in one room, and rumors of a maze in the basement. Door policy can be tough- don’t expect to roll up singing Oasis tunes and be beckoned down the rabbit hole.

Torture Garden (London/Edinburgh)

A grand old lady of the fetish club scene, Torture Garden started life in the basement of a converted church in Brixton in 1990 and is now Europe’s largest of its kind. A vast celebration of all things sexual fantastical, you won’t get in without donning the sort of bondage outfit you pray your parents never wear. As renowned for its elaborate theatrical performances as its ‘play’ rooms, the bondage side is something you can get involved with as much you wish. There are whipping horses, spanking benches and places for you to get naughty, but if you just want to hang out and party in your gimp suit, that’s cool too.

Cozy place in Brisbane

Dominated by the mighty Brisbane River, Queensland’s vibrant capital, Brisbane, is a laid-back city with a cheeky attitude.

Thanks to its balmy climate and rich cultural scene, ‘Brisvegas’, as locals have it, is as popular with Australians as it is with international travellers, which makes it a pleasingly cosmopolitan place to visit.

One of Australia’s oldest cities, pre-colonial Brisbane was known to the Turrbal and Jagera people as Mian-jin (‘the place shaped like spike’) due to its unique geography.

Today, the city is still growing, and is thought to be the fastest expanding Australian conurbation on the East Coast. Less frenetic than Sydney but more vibrant than Adelaide, Brisbane boasts a bustling cultural scene and plenty of picturesque suburbs. The centre, dominated by the business district, is peppered with parks, nearly all of which are crammed with sunbathing locals on the weekends.

The South Bank is particularly loved thanks to the presence of the South Bank Parklands, which is home to Streets Beach, a public swimming area and a rabbit warren of quaint streets. Nearby is the striking glass and steel Museum of Modern Art, which is worth visiting for the architecture alone, and the magnificent Maritime Museum.

For boutique shopping, Paddington and Rosalie are key areas, particularly around LaTrobe Terrace. Some great fashion stores can be found in Fortitude Valley, while Stones Corner has a number of factory outlets.

Wonderful though Brisbane is, it’s the surrounding countryside that is the real icing on the cake. Barren peaks, a protected forest and a koala sanctuary are all within striking distance, as is the magnificent Queensland coastline – including Moreton Bay where the English cartographer, Captain Flinders, first came ashore.

If that wasn’t enough, the city is also the gateway to the Great Barrier Reef and the famous Australia Zoo, so skip onto Sydney if you like, but you’ll only be cheating yourself.

Learn more if you want go to Berlin

Clubber and scribe David Hillier investigates London’s moribund late night scene and asks what the city can learn from the clubbing capital of Europe, Berlin.

“A creative city with a powerful clubbing scene must have three things: affordable space, tolerance, and minimal regulation. These enable self-expression and innovation.” So says Lutz Leichsenring, press officer for Club Commission, a Berlin-based union set up in 2001 to represent the needs of its nighttime economy.

Last year London formed its own industry group, the Night Time Industries Association (NTIA), and it’s desperately needed. The oft-quoted statistic that 50% of UK clubs have closed in the last decade is sadly correct, with totems such as Dance Tunnel, Cable and Passing Clouds all forced to shut. This mass cull reached its apex last month when Farringdon’s Fabric – the spiritual doyen of UK club culture – had its licence revoked following the drug-related deaths of two teenagers on its premises.

“The spiritual doyen of UK club culture”: Fabric remains closed after the latest Islington Council ruling
Creative Commons / Ben Hartley

According to Alan Miller, co-founder of the NTIA, “What people, and the authorities, need to realise is that nightclubs are a part of our ecosystem. They are an intrinsic part of a whole host of things, from fashion and design to advertising and retail. Everywhere, from Hackney to Peckham, from Tottenham to Hounslow, whole areas are being shaped by what’s happening with the nighttime economy.”

Across the country, £66 billion is spent in nighttime venues every year. The industry accounts for 8% of UK employment, with 1.3 million people pulling pints, manning doors or serving tables. And it’s increasingly a reason tourists come to the capital. “People aren’t just flying in for Madame Tussauds or Buckingham Palace any more, they’re coming for XOYO or Oval Space. Clubs are part of London’s repertoire,” remarks Miller.

Feeding this narrative – that clubs are ultimately about so much more than clubbing – is a major part of Miller’s role. He’s hoping this will be made easier when London Mayor Sadiq Khan, who has come out in support of Fabric’s plight, appoints a ‘Night Czar’. The Czar will act as go-between for all the related parties and, most importantly, work in the best interests of late night culture in London.

In many senses Miller takes his lead from Leichsenring, who has championed this approach since joining Club Commission in 2004. Berlin is a long-time incubator of creativity, and Leichsenring also places heavy emphasis not just on the financial value that nightclubs bring to the city – although 35% of visitors to the city come for the nightlife – but on their ability to inspire the next generation of free thinkers and maverick artists. And he sees gentrification, a longtime bugbear of London’s creatives, as the mortal enemy of this.

“Lots of clubs in Berlin are in temporary spaces, and some owners decided that maybe they would like to turn them into a shopping mall, or a hotel, “ Leichsenring says. ”But around 15 years ago people started rethinking: maybe we don’t need another shopping mall. Because if you are young and creative, and have ideas about changing the world and you want to be free, then highly gentrified areas are not places you will go.”

Dalston’s Passing Clouds shortly before its closure in August 2016
Creative Commons / John Lubbock

One person who has keenly felt the dent of the developer’s boot in London is Gudrun Getz, Events Manager at Dalston’s Passing Clouds. In August the venue was closed down after a protracted and draining legal battle with their landlord, and they have been forced to leave a building they have lovingly spent a decade crafting into one of the city’s most forward-thinking arts and entertainment spaces. A building, it should be noted, that they also spent £200,000 redeveloping without being given an option to buy. They are currently appealing the decision.

“There’s a lot of fear in the nighttime community at the moment,” says Getz. “Every venue owner I’ve spoken to is worried that they’re going to be next on the chopping block.” According to Getz, there’s a lot more that local councils could be doing. “Wandsworth Council, for example, put Article 4 Directions in place that protected over 100 pubs and venues from being closed down. It wasn’t an easy or quick process, but they recognised the importance of their nightlife. More councils should be following their lead, and I also think some kind of national legislation should be put in place – something along the lines of a Cultural Heritage Protection Act, which marks out certain areas as being culturally significant and beyond development.”

The difference in Anglo and German attitudes to their clubs were made poignantly clear when, on the very same day that Fabric was ordered to close, Berlin’s industrial techno temple Berghain won a case that ensured it a place in a lower tax bracket. This bracket is reserved for venues providing works of cultural significance, so Berghain now sits alongside concert halls, museums and theatres as a high culturevenue. Vive le difference.

The two cities also vary greatly in their attitude towards drugs. Before Fabric was shut, this year had actually been widely perceived as a progressive year for drug policy in the UK. In September, a cross-party report calling for the legalization of medical cannabis was released, while Tory MP Crispin Blunt recently called for the regulation of all drugs. This was on the back of police-approved drugs testing, undertaken by harm reduction charity The Loop, that took place at this summer’s Secret Garden Party and Parklife festivals. Sadly, Fabric has taken the sheen off those big leaps forward.

Fresh and clean water for your holiday

With gorgeous beaches, traditional Greek villages and a deliciously sleepy lifestyle all in store, flotilla sailing is one of the most fun and relaxing ways to cruise the Greek islands – absorbing the rich history and culture with several stops inland along the way.

One of the most popular island groups to sail around are the Cyclades comprised of Mykonos, with its profusion of bars and clubs, and Santorini, renowned for its white-washed houses tumbling down sheer cliffs.

Flotilla holidays are a great water holidays option for active families and groups of friends, as you sail with a fleet of three to 10 flotilla yachts. Pretty island breaks, good snorkelling and walks amid dappled olive groves and pine-clad hillsides await.

Water holidays: Dhows, Zanzibar

Traditional dhow boats ply the waters off Zanzibar and offer a romantic way to explore this stunning Indian Ocean island. Book a dhow trip, and relax under billowing sails as you glide to the Menai Bay conservation area where there’s a chance to spot dolphins and whales, and go snorkelling amid dazzling coral reefs.

When you get hungry, the dhow boat will anchor off an uninhabited island where you can feast on freshly grilled fish, seafood and tropical fruit, all washed down with spiced coffee. Spend the afternoon sunbathing or swimming in pristine lagoons, before sailing back to Zanzibar as the sun slips into the ocean.

Glide across shimmering turquoise waters, from one sandy isle to another all fringed with dipping palms; it’s truly tough to beat a yachting holiday in the Caribbean.

From the fresh lemon yellow sun rising over the ocean, to the fuzzy warm evening air, bobbing just offshore with a clinking icy rum punch in hand, after a day on the beach, this is a paradise water holiday at its very best.

Whether you choose the British Virgin Islands, Antigua, or St Lucia, enjoy the wonderful Caribbean on a yacht.

Take to the icy waters of the Arctic Ocean, and spend an exhilarating water holiday kayaking in the territory of majestic polar bears. Norway’s Svalbard archipelago lies between Norway and the North Pole; it is an icy landscape of glinting lakes, imposing glaciers and truly impressive wildlife. Several companies offer boat trips which incorporate kayaking excursions, allowing visitors to feel the full force of this awe-inspiring landscape.

Further south, Norway’s iconic fjords provide the perfect backdrop to a kayaking holiday. Surrounded by towering mountains laced with hiking trails, it’s a dream holiday for adventurers and nature-lovers.

Water holidays: Whale watching, Mexico

Sail around Mexico’s Baja Peninsula on a spectacular whale-watching holiday for an unforgettable experience. The area’s deep waters are home to the mighty blue whale as well as dolphins, manta rays, seabird colonies and seals. Every year around 24,000 whales make their way to the lagoons and bays along Baja’s coastline, so expect to catch numerous sightings of these gentle giants.

Equally as impressive as the wildlife is the scenery: imagine endless coves, unique desert islands, burnt orange cliffs, isolated sandy beaches, all lapped by glittering turquoise waters

Do You Like River Cruises

Immerse yourself in the drama and beauty of the world’s largest river, the Amazon, on a South American river cruise with Aqua Expeditions. Departing from Iquitos, Peru, you sail down the wildlife-rich Amazon and its winding tributaries – the Yarapa, Yanallpa and Ucayali rivers, ending in the Pacaya Samiria Reserve.

The three-night voyage on board the 5-star Aqua Expeditionencompasses extraordinary diversity from flooded forests and local villages to iguana-laden islands and untouched habitats. Three daily expeditions with trained guides offer an opportunity to see wildlife up close such as dusky pink dolphins, chattering monkeys, sleepy three-toed sloths, spine-chilling caimans, and vibrant-coloured macaws. For the bravest passengers, there’s even the chance to fish for piranhas.

The luxury vessel accommodates 32 guests, with 16 private suites to choose from and a Jacuzzi on the top deck. Each of the air-conditioned cabins offers panoramic windows to soak up jungle views from the comfort of your own room. Prices start from £1,726pp.

Europe’s waterways offer a wealth of opportunity to discover some of the continent’s lesser known, enchanting historic cities.Avalon Waterways’s eight-day Romantic Rhine River Cruise departs fromAmsterdam to Zurich. Highlights include Cologne’s cathedral, Koblenz’s cultural centre, Heidelberg’s castle, Strasbourg’s statues, Breisach’s Black Forest and Basel’s romantic bridges. On board the elegantly furnished Avalon Visionary featuring spacious suites, passengers have everything they need, from a hair salon and library to a rooftop whirlpool, and an outdoor viewing platform. Prices start from £1,735pp.

Alternatively, plough a course on the Danube with Uniworld which offers premium boutique-style accommodation on board its vessels. Expect exquisite furnishings, original artworks, world-class cuisine and top notch service on board River Beatrice on an eight-day sailing through Germany, Austria, and Hungary. Nine excursions take in the best each city has to offer from Budapest’s fairytale streets, one of the world’s most gorgeous libraries in Vienna, Salzburg’s Mirabellgarten as seen in The Sound of Music, and finally, a concert and walking tour in Passau. On board, passengers can unwind on private French-styled balconies with personal butlers at their beck and call. Prices start from £2,199pp.

The beauty of Philippines island

The journey to Siargao should have taken an hour, but we’d already been in the air that long when an enormous cloud tore across the sky and chased us twice around the island.

When we finally touched down I realised that the runway we’d been circumnavigating was little more than a finger swipe through custard, a patch of scrubland disappearing into the jungle around it.

After hauling my bag from the prop plane, baffled at the lack of security checks, I climbed into a waiting jeepney, the ubiquitous and colourfully adapted American army jeeps used as public transport in the Philippines.

Bouncing along the dirt track was like stepping back in time. The only life in the dense palm jungle was around basic stilt huts clinging to the road edge. Bamboo frames held up corrugated iron roofs which acted as petrol stations. One litre of gas in a Coca Cola bottle would set you back 20p. Carabao grazed lazily in lush rice paddies; the smell of slow-cooked Lechon pig hung in the hot air.

Siargao (pronounced Shar-gow) is one of over 7,000 islands that make up the Philippine archipelago. Perched 448km (278 miles) off the coast of cacophonic Cebu, the teardrop-shaped isle is relatively unknown, except to the surfing community, for whom it is a mecca.

Compared to neighbouring Boracay (an island with a 5-star Shangri-La resort, full moon parties and a busy airport), Siargao is a sleepy sibling. There are no direct international flights and volatile weather makes current airline timetables chaotic.

But all this will change from 2015 as more than £400,000 is set to be spent on improving and extending Siargao’s Sayak Airport over the next three years.

I was in Siargao to visit the legendary surf at Cloud 9, a break on the east coast made famous by the World Surf League in 2011. I also had a profound urge to set foot on one of the world’s last remaining undeveloped spots.

Whilst on the island I stayed at Buddha’s, a hippie collection of thatched bungalows and hammocks just metres from the beach. I’d rise each morning at 6am and make my way through palm fronds to the sand. I’d heave my board onto a waiting bangkang (a traditional wooden outrigger used to fish) that transported surfers beyond the reef.

By the time we’d reach the swell, the sun would be high and the heat intense. There were only ever a handful of other surfers to compete with, so I’d spend two blissful hours carving watery tracks before heading back for a breakfast of eggs, bacon and fresh calamansi juice. By 6pm I’d sit and watch another sunset, convinced I’d found a personal heaven, my own Cloud 9.

This feeling resonated with many of the expatriates I met on the island, including Gerry Degan, the owner of Sagana, a resort with direct access to the Cloud 9 surf spot.

Gerry and his Filipino wife moved here from Australia in 1995, when the tourism industry was non-existent. With the help of a local, Gerry bought a plot of land and opened the resort. The airport extension makes him anxious, but he’s pragmatic.

“It’s a catch-22,” he says. “We would all like to keep the charm of the undiscovered tropical paradise, but as word leaks out of course more people will come. As a business owner it makes things much easier, but as a surfer my concern is that the waves will become overcrowded and I came here to surf a quiet break.”

The exotic of Caribbean beach

Couples looking to unplug and enjoy each other should head to Petit St. Vincent. With only one resort, boasting 22 cottages spread over 47 hectares (115 acres) of tropical woodlands and impeccable service, this place is the ultimate in seclusion. Hoist a yellow flag outside your cottage to have one of the butlers swing by and take a message, or fly a red one for “Do Not Disturb”.

Finding a private sliver of sand to picnic, swim or just relax on is easy, as the island is completely surrounded by a strip of sugar white sand, and when you’ve relaxed quite enough, find a perch at the beach bar where you’ll catch sunsets glowing fiery orange and purple whilst enjoying a cold beverage.

Need a little more than a beach to keep you entertained? St. Kitts and Nevis combines culture and relaxation brilliantly. On the island of Nevis, you’ll find the Hamilton House museum, the former residence of Alexander Hamilton, a Founding Father of the US, who was born on there in 1757. There’s also the Horatio Nelson museum commemorating the British naval hero, who got married on the island, and which houses the largest collection on memorabilia in the Americas.

Plan a visit to the many sugar plantation ruins that dot both islands to delve into their colonial past – the Eden Brown Estate is said to be haunted. If you weary of museums, Lover’s beach offers seclusion with tropical charm while Newcastle beach is ideal for a stroll.

If you’re a nature lover, Dominica (not to be confused with the Dominican Republic) should be at the top of your list. While it has less in way of sandy beaches, this island is overwhelmed with jungle and trekking opportunities. A fantastic amount of flora and fauna thrive on the island – you’ll encounter brightly coloured parrots and 3m- (10ft-) long boa constrictors aplenty.

Need a beach to unwind on after a day of wildlife? Try Wavine Cyrique on the east coast. You have to hike to get there, but shrouded by the low-lying fog of the surrounding jungle and black sands, it certainly feels exotic.

The best way to enjoy your summer holiday

We know what you’re thinking; Club 18-30 holidays, lager-swilling expats and tacky resorts. These preconceptions are not entirely unfounded – Tenerife was a pioneer of the “pile them high, sell them cheap” approach to package holidays – but the island has strived to shake off this reputation and attract a more salubrious clientele.

Posh new resorts, a burgeoning restaurant scene and spiritual retreats are helping Tenerife recast itself as a destination for the discerning holidaymaker, while its sandy beaches, volcanic landscapes and warm weather sell themselves. Flight time from Britain? Four hours.

Dubbed the “smiling coast of West Africa”, Gambia has long been Europe’s shortcut to the tropics. This former British colony might be the smallest nation in mainland Africa, but it punches well above its weight as a holiday destination… and it’s just five hours from London.

Most come to imbibe sunshine on sandy beaches, others to marvel at the world-renowned birdlife (Chris Packham is a regular). The more adventurous traveller can don hiking boots and trek through the jungle or cruise up the Gambia River in search of pygmy hippos and crocs.

Cape crusader: Cape Verde

Tourism is on the rise in Cape Verde, but you won’t be jostling for space on the beaches just yet. That will change, however, as holidaymakers arrive at this African archipelago in increasing numbers. Floating off the coast of Senegal, this former Portuguese colony boasts a surprising diversity of landscapes for such a small nation; sweeping sandy beaches, luscious mountain ranges and frozen lava fields are just part of the picture.

The golden beaches and limpid waters are the main draws, but the archipelago also offers excellent trekking, world-class windsurfing and a rich fusion of Portuguese and Cape Verdean culture – all within five hours of Britain.

Arabian allure: Oman

The jewel of Arabia, Oman is seven hours from London and this sunny sultanate is perfect for a midwinter getaway. With 1,700km (1,056 miles) of coastline, the country has no shortage of sandy beaches, which are glorious gateways to some of the best dive sites in the Middle East.

But sea, sun and sand are just part of the story; head inland and you can hike through verdant rainforests, camp with Bedouins and share epic vistas with mountain-dwelling shepherds. And spare a day for Muscat, the historic capital, where ancient palaces, grandiose mosques and bustling souks abound.

This is the advantage when you are a VIP on cabin

Private suites, designer furnishings, power showers….live the high life and splash out on a luxury first class airline seat for the ultimate in heavenly travel. World Travel Guide has hand picked the Top 5 first class cabins to ensure you travel in style and comfort.

Cathay Pacific Airways

Cathay Pacific serving food
Delight in the freshly prepared Asian and international cuisine
Cathay Pacific
Cathay Pacific Airways offers the crème de la crème of first class travel – and that’s official. The Hong Kong-based airline scooped the latest World Airlines Award title for best First Class Airline seat. And when you check out the details, it’s not difficult to see why. Among the longest and widest in the sky, the first class seat is 92cm (36 inches) across and can quickly recline into a whopping 206cm long (81 inches), 180-degree flat bed.

Private screens on the aisle help transform the ergonomically-perfect foam seat or bed into a private relaxation suite. When you’re in need of 40 winks, don your complementary sleepsuit and dive under a luxurious duvet. Feeling peckish? Indulge in the first class, made-to-order Asian and international cuisine on offer, or watch the latest movies on your own personal 43cm (17 inches) widescreen TV. Fancy some pampering? Reach for your own top range beauty kits (Acca Kappa products and Ermenegildo Zegna travel bags from Italy for him and Aesop products from Australia and Ipa-Nima travel pouches for her).

With only nine first class seats on Cathay’s Boeing 747-400s and just six seats on the Boeing 777-300ERs, you can fly smug in the knowledge that you’re one of the privileged few.

Qatar Airways

Qatar Airways First Class cabin
Activate the in-built massager and relax in style on Qatar Airways
Qatar Airways
Qatar Airways has rapidly built a stellar reputation since it first took to the skies in 1994, bagging the coveted title of world’s best airline in 2011.

As you might expect, you’re treated in style from the minute you clamber onboard the aircraft. The service is personable and professional, and the dining exquisite, with 10-course meals cooked to perfection by award-winning chefs. Loosen your belt and feast on caviar, lobster and Arabic specialities, before washing it down with fine wines and champagnes. Then sink into your ultra comfortable, 56cm (22 inches) wide seat and switch on the built-in massager to ease away any lingering tension. When sleep beckons, enjoy a personal turn down service and the privacy and comfort of a 200cm long (79 inches), 180-degree flat bed complete with a feather duvet.

Singapore Airlines

Singapore Airlines First Class Cabin
Travel in style and comfort in Singapore Airlines A380 suites
Singapore Airlines
Singapore Airlines doesn’t do things by halves, and the first class cabins on its Boeing 777-300ERs and refitted Boeing 777-300s are perfect evidence of this. Eight majestic and perfectly upholstered, fine-grained leather seats measuring 89cm across (35 inches) each transform into a 203cm long (80 inches) fully-flat bed. Each bed is complemented with luxurious soft furnishings designed exclusively by fashion house Givenchy, and you’re guaranteed maximum privacy, thanks to a fixed back shell that extends to both sides of the seat.

If that’s not enough, plug the latest noise-cancelling headphones into your personal, 58cm (23 inches), high res, LCD screen. Meanwhile, vanity mirrors and drawers and exclusively designed Givenchy slippers and sleepsuits make sure you look stylish at all times.

How to get an upgrade when you are flying

We all love the idea of getting something for nothing but the chances of getting a free flight upgrade these days are slimmer than Kate Middleton’s waist. Fluttering your eyelashes or flashing a Bond-like smile at check-in just won’t cut it. But it’s not impossible to work your way up from crushed cattle class to something a little cushier, especially if you know how to work the system.

Airlines always overbook so you may be asked at check-in if you’re willing to be bumped to another flight, and be offered cash for your trouble. If you accept the alternative flight, now is a good time to politely ask if you could possibly be upgraded as well, which sometimes works. If you don’t want to change flights however, ask if there’s any chance of an upgrade on the current flight instead.

This did the trick for Sue Jones, an office manager on her way back from vacation: “They offered me a different flight but I told them I just had to be on the one I’d booked to make a business meeting next day and they bumped me from economy to first class, which was brilliant!”

Sue’s case is rare however. I tried it once on my way to the Cannes Film Festival, having turned down the airline’s offer of around £300 compensation to fly next day. No luck. They managed to squeeze me onboard in my booked economy seat.

As with everything else, it’s often about who and not what you know and networking at 30,000 feet is no exception. If you have a family member or friend or even a friend of a friend who works for the airline, it can be worth its weight in gold so butter up those contacts.

You can also become ‘friends’ with your favourite airline. In fact, frequent flyer programmes are among your best chances of getting an upgrade, especially at check-in. Frequent flyer Richard Ellis, who’s had some success, said: “Show your frequent flyer card at check-in and politely ask if they are upgrading passengers that day. Offer to pay. Go to the business class queue. Explain that you’d like to get some work done and ask if there’s a waiting list you can go on. It helps if you are carrying a laptop.”

At the booking stage, you can often trade your reward points for a cabin upgrade – this feels like it’s free, even though it isn’t really.

Honeymooners, pregnant women, birthday celebrants are all more likely to get an upgrade if they are part of a frequent flyer programme. Having said that, some major airlines are notoriously stingy even with very loyal customers so it’s worth doing a bit of research before you commit to one airline.

Solo travellers stand the best chance of an upgrade, or couples willing to sit separately. Families with tons of kids, or groups, have less than a cat’s chance in hell.

Food flexibility also increases your chance of a move. Airline meal numbers are pretty rigid and special meal requests won’t travel with your upgrade, so fruitarians, vegans, and kosher diners are not as likely to get upgraded as omnivores. Just remember not to specify a special meal request when you book.

If you are going to get bumped up, looking the part doesn’t hurt. Bear in mind that no matter how big your Ray-Bans or your designer handbag; shorts and ripped jeans won’t wash unless you’re an internationally recognised celebrity.

Titles used to go some way towards getting an upgrade and if you’re a doctor, peer of the realm, judge or professor, it still doesn’t do any harm to list this when you book your ticket as airlines will often do a pre-flight trawl though the passenger list for suitable upgrade candidates, who would fit in with business or first-class passengers.